Dr ask my mum to go for another op to have some of the nodules taken out for lab testing to rule out malignancy... I still remember the results was out before the Chinese New Year.... but my mum choose to postpone the appt to be after the new year... as if knowing deep down that the results was a bad one... In fact... I too have the same feeling... but no one really talk abt it... so I agreed to my mum to postpone the appt... wanting my mum to enjoy the new year... I even suggested my mum to go genting with my aunties to have a break... I know myself that she may have a tought battle to fight again soon... so I want her to at least have a holiday to enjoy herself...
On that day of the results.... we waited quite a long time for my mum's turn... I still can recall my mum was so not herself that day... she was so anxious... not wanting to talk more...
When we step into the consultation room... the look on the dr face... I know its bad news...
I asked the dr... so how is it... she said... err... its not good... at that moment... I tried very very hard to hold back my tears... I do not want to cry in front of my mum..... As my mum dun really understand english... she asked me while I was still talking to the dr.... "good news or bad news?".... I shake my head...... then she finally broke down... she cried... my dad hug her.... that was the first time I saw my mum crying so hard... and the first time seeing my dad hugging my mum.... really....no one can imagine how I feel at that moment... I duno how to console my mum.... I couldnt remember that was the how many times we have to went thru such situations in receiving bad news....
So when we stepped out of the room.... I ask my dad to stay with my mum....cos I have to go to the xray dept to book a date for my mum bone scan, ct scan, etc... the usual procedures when there is a recurrence... I know it too well....
So the period from that day of results till the next results day for the scans and xrays was really torturing...
Results Day
The dr is Dr Donald Poon.... the first time seeing him...
We asked the dr...so how is the results.....Dr say its good.... no spread at this moment... liver and lungs good... Phew... I can see how relieved my mum is...... so I asked the dr... so when will the chemo be.... He say no need for chemo at the moment unless there is life threatening issues like when the cancer spread...... now only needs to take oral hormonal med to control it...... I wonder inside me why no chemo.... why only give chemo when the cancer spread as if waiting for that day to come....I really doubt the hormonal med can help to get rid of the cancer....
Anyway before seeing the dr.... I already wanted to seek a second opinion no matter how is the results... so I ask the dr to write a referral letter with all my mum medical history in a memo summary.... I want to bring my mum to see Dr Khoo Kei Siong at Gleneagles... it was recommended by my own dr... Dr Wee Siew Bock.... Im seeing him for my ultrasound scans.... I also removed benign lumps by him....
Dr Poon says Dr Khoo is his superior last time at NCC.... he last times heads the dept at NCC last time before he move to private practice...
After getting the memo and all the copies of my mum medical history reports... we waited outside... I went in to the room again alone to ask him the actual situation of my mum.... cos I do not want my mum to hear..... I still can rememeber the exact words he say...
Me : Dr how come my mum do not have to go thru chemo?
Dr: Not at this moment.... chemo will be given when there is life threatening issues
Me: But hormonal med can remove the cancer?
Dr: No... it cant....
Silence......
Dr: How to I put it..... To be frank.... I cant cure your mum.... the cancer will eventually spread to other parts of the body.... until then... the hormone med will help to control it....
My heart sank....I sat down there stunned with the news....
I will share more on my next entry....
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