Post Operation

Its the second day since my mum 2nd op. She is ok. Just that she complains pain on the wound which is normal. She says the previous op not so pain at the wound. Thats becos there is morphine I told her. Hospital only gives panadol to her. Dr says most likely she can discharge tml. Saw Dr Koong yesterday. He commented that the tissue that was taken out was put under microscopic test and show negative for cancerous cell (i wonder to myself... how come le... cos the pathology report shows cancerous activity thus need to clear the margins again with this op) If there isnt any C cell why the need for this op? However Dr Koong did says that this test is not 100% accurate. Needs to send it to the lab for the actual pathology report. Again there will be another anxious night before the results day.


Looking at my mum lying on the hospital bed when she was out from the OT... brings back memories of the previous operation. I asked myself... why do my mum needs to go through all these pain? I always envy those friends where their family members have no health problems. There are times when I see those elderly at the age of 70 plus or even 80 plus walking with their spouses.... Im so happy... I always hope my parents can live to age 80 with no health problems. If they were to leave me one day... I hope they leave suddenly with no struggle and pain. At least not by having cancer. Although some people says that dying with cancer gives one time to say goodbye to their loved ones.... but I disagree to certain extend.... People who says this cannot understand the distress of seeing their loved ones suffering in pain and anxiety when fighting with cancer. Those horrible chemo and radiation treatments.... painful surgeries.... endless Dr appts.... endless sleepless nights awaiting for scans results.... those disappointments hearing from Dr on recurrences despite doing faithfully all the treatments Dr wanted them to do... I always feel one would never able to understand totally what a cancer patient went through unless you went through it yourself. No one can also understand what a caregiver feels unless you are also a caregiver yourself caring for your loved ones. People around you can show you concern by asking frequently on "how is your mum? Is she better now?".... Sometimes I dont know how to answer such questions. Sometimes all that is needed is a hand over your shoulder or a hug when you are feeling down. It brings great comfort.

I will write more on my mum's cancer history on my next entry. Back to the very day on the first diagnosis.